The Juice isn’t always worth the Squeeze

By Kimit Trotman

When you were a child your mother told you what? “No one likes a tattle tale.” We have all come in contact with someone who cant seem to ever keep their mouth shut. I present to you two of the most infamous tattle tales in recent memory. Mike “ The Situation” Sorrentino and Jose Canseco.

Both men will forever be remembered for their lack of verbal self-control and their occasional use of the juice. “The Situation” has shown his true colors while in Italy during this current season of Jersey Shore. He has lied, snitched, and even gave a tremendous head butt to a solid wall. It’s funny that he knocked himself out on many levels but if you can remember back far enough, Jose Canseco also used his head to take his place in history. While playing right field for the Texas Rangers, Canseco fielded a ball off his head and over the fence for a home run. I’m not really sure which one is the funniest of the two but I can say that if both of these two had better hands neither one of these situations would have happened.

After retiring from baseball under a cloud of steroid usage, Jose Canseco penned a book putting the entire sport on blast. Not only did he insist that over 80% of baseball players used steroids, he went on record as saying he personally injected certain players. “The Situation” has used his mouth to also start drama among his cast mates. Whether it be about himself and Snooki or just starting up rumors to get a rise out of others in the house, he has received the moniker of a rat or snitch in the Jersey Shore house. He claims to never lie but in my brief observation of the show I have seen him talk himself into a corner and get loud (or head butt a wall) to escalate certain issues. He is also known for screaming at locals in bars trying to start brawls, which is something that Jose can relate to, having been arrested for assault and fighting several times during and after his infused baseball career.

I guess it is safe to say that these two fit right into the “juice head” segment of society – quick to lose their temper, not too smart to start off with, typical idiot on television, big arms little brains. They both write checks with their mouths that they certainly can’t cash when it comes time to put up, even if they don’t shut up. Like Jose in his prime, women can’t get enough of “The Situation”; he is loved, followed and even revered in some circles; those with very low IQ’s and serious tan lines of course. Maybe its time we all go play catch with our melons, or wear sunglasses in the house at all hours. Everyone get up and get out to the tanning bed. As for me, I think I’m gonna start a fight and go play some real life angry birds with a concert wall.

Follow Kimit on Twitter @kimitoftron

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