Two and a Half Professionals

By Kimit Trotman

For my first attempt to compare a popular sports figure to someone in pop the culture scene, I’ve come across a pair of outlandish, extroverted personalities. First we have Charlie Sheen, the outspoken warlock of the 21st century. Charlie comes from an acting family with his father, Martin Sheen, having graced the silver screen countless times over the past few decades. Charlie’s early acting appearances were unheralded just like Nyjer Morgan’s ascension through the Pittsburgh Pirates farm system. Sheen had two loves as a child, acting and baseball. His older brother Emilio Estevez gained stardom a year before his own breakout performance in the 1986 classic “Platoon”, and well before Sheen combined his two passions to achieve his current place in pop culture lore with a sterling performance as Ricky Vaughn in 1989’s “Major League”. Vaughn’s nickname was “Wild Thing”, an axiom synonymous with both Sheen and Morgan these days.

Nyjer Morgan’s early years were a tad different, although the medium in which he gained access to the world’s spotlight was not his first passion. Morgan was a member of the Regina Pats junior level hockey team, but after the 2000 season he decided to focus on baseball, and he was subsequently drafted in the 33rd  round by the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2002. It was the belief of most around the organization that Morgan would be starting in the outfield in 2008, but he lost the job to Nate McLouth. Sheen suffered a similar fate 20 years earlier when he lost the starring role to Tom Cruise for the film “Born on the 4th of July”.

Morgan paid his dues in a platoon role – pun intended – in the Pirates outfield behind rising players Jason Bay, Xavier Nady, and McLouth before gaining more playing time in 2009, before being traded to the Washington Nationals. He first busted onto the national scene because of his roll in a bench clearing brawl while a member of the Nationals, an incident that solidified a negative image for Morgan in the  eyes of most baseball fans, with many labeling him as a thug whose antics didn’t belong in  professional baseball. This, coupled with a lack of on field success resulted in his demise in the nation’s capital.

Left for dead and sent to Milwaukee of all places, a “star” was born. Tony Plush erupted in the club house giving new life and energy to an already formidable Brewer’s squad. With a string of amazing outfield catches and beyond clutch hits, Morgan was granted more interview time and the world had no idea what they were in for. Never the professional, T-Plush has given us some of the greatest post game moments of the season, “I was looking for something up over the plate somewhere I could just work my hands and just tickle ’em, tickle ’em into the outfield.” His plushdamentals have been on point while rocking the Brew Crew swag. His average was above 300. and no matter how crazy his words may seem, Morgan is the spiritual heart and soul of the Brewers; willing to do whatever and whenever to help pick up his teammates, and they love him for it.

Like Tony Plush, we had to wait for Charlie Sheen to hit a new level of notoriety before we knew that warlocks even existed. After being removed from the hit television show “2 and a Half Men”, Sheen ranted to the masses with combinations of words that still don’t really make too much sense . “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

I’m almost positive that if the drug “Charlie Sheen” was available, T-Plush would have it with his Wheaties in the morning. The fact is that right now, they are both “winning”, and every time they open their mouths, something classic fly’s out. I’m starting to believe that in some weird way these two might actually be from the same planet…… Gotta GO!

Follow Kimit on Twitter @kimitoftron

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